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User blog:WikiaSphinx/My way back to HabitRPG: Part 2. Untitled
So... Continuing the story from where I stopped a year ago, to cut it short, it turned out that trying to improve myself with HabitRPG and indulging myself into its great world - I simply, maybe subconsciously, tried to deny that some major changes were about to happen in my life - and they required me myself to change dramatically too. I would be glad if you could check my Comeback Riddle "The Fall of a Member of the Royalty" already solved by our guild - in which I tried to express my todays thoughts on the events which followed. Living my ordinary life back then I haven't noticed a huge crack in my relationships, a glass ceiling at work, a dead end with my everlasting post-graduate work, and the distance growing between me and the closest friends. I'm not really sure what triggered an avalanche. It might have been me discussing my thoughts of quitting the job I've had for the previous 5 years - the one many of my friends would still dream of, I believe. However I've made my mind but the decision was supported only buy a few of the closest ones. The others considered it irrational downshifting and somehow one-by-one disappeared from my life. In the end I've been planning to quit HabitRPG because of the need to concentrate on the life goals and not habits or single tasks at that time. I knew that HabitRPG might be misleading (and again, I'm still planning to release a post about the flow, a bit late). All in all, I had been spending reasonably much time here. After a year "Moi je ne regrette rien" - apart from one thing... my decision to leave coincided with - and to be honest was a bit hurried by - simple misunderstanding when I failed to get the point of one of the most respected game masters. As I'd said previously what I valued most, was the community. As a guy born in the USSR I do value the feeling of being part of some society - with members helping each other to achieve common and personal goals (please, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to compare HabitRPG with communism,.. though the both are meant to be global and... - well, I'm just kidding again ) ). On the other hand, as a modern Russian citizen I believe in the freedom of thoughts and speech. And having an opportunity to connect to such a great society was an excuse for me to spend time here knowing I've got many other things to do, that aren't supposed to wait a single moment. And a year ago I didn't quite catch an idea of fragile balance of being able to say something - not hurting anyone's feelings. I considered the concept as a limit of freedom of speech, which didn't correspond with the image of HabitRPG in my mind. It took me a year to achieve the required pace for the top-priority goals I'd set for myself and - strange it may seem - to understand why it is so important to avoid any slight possibility to hurt someone's feelings by respecting them in first place. And generally that's what reminded me how much I've been missing HabitRPG during this year! Please excuse me for going so deep in personal matters, but I'd like this post to explain why I left HabitRPG a year ago and also to say "please forgive me" to those who might have been, well, puzzled. In the end I'd like to sincerely thank all the nice people behind and inside HabitRPG for making me better, as I'd like to think! Category:Blog posts